24 Best Jokes For Children

24 Best Jokes For Children

Jan 21
24 Best Jokes For Children

There’s no greater pleasure in life than the laughter of a child. I’m always searching through joke books for things that will make my grandchildren cackle, because there’s nothing more delightful than a delighted kid.

Laughing Children

Kid’s jokes are especially good because there’s no requirement to be “smart,” or clever. Kid’s jokes are free to be stupid; we still guffaw anyway, in part because everyone else is laughing along, too. All too often, jokes for adults take themselves seriously, in a way antithetical to the true aims of humor, using irony and sarcasm that bites, in some cases a little too hard.

Jokes for children are free to be goofy. There’s no self-consciousness around being silly, no attempt to go high brow. There’s just the setup and the punch line, two elemental halves making a perfect whole. That’s why I love to tell jokes designed for children, and love even more the jokes that kids make up, which rarely make any sense. I love it because, in telling a kid’s joke, we can feel like kids for a moment, too.

Don’t get me wrong. I love adult humor as well. I love the kind of standup that illuminates darker truths of human nature, that points to our foibles. I love the sharp bite of a Lenny Bruce, the dark wit of Richard Pryor. But kid’s jokes, when they’re good, teach us to lighten up. Not everything needs to make sense, or make sense of the world. It just needs to be funny.

My Favorite Jokes For Kids

So without further ado, here are my 24 favorite kid’s jokes.


Q: How do you get a tissue to dance?

A: You put a little boogie in it.


2. What do you call fake noodles?

A: Im-pasta.


Q: What does a nosy pepper do?

A: Gets jalapeno your business.


Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

A: Ten tickles.


Q: What did one plate say to the other plate?

A: Dinner is on me!


Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?

A: Because 7, 8, 9.


Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A: About a buck an ear.


Q: Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?

A: Because they’re good at it!


Q: What building has the most stories?

A: The public library.


Q: How does the moon cut his hair?

A: Eclipse it.


Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A: Finding half a worm.


Q: What did the banana say to the dog?

A: Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.


Q: What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A: A little plaque.


Q: Why did the tomato blush?

A: It saw the salad dressing.


Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A: A gummy bear!


Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?

A: Ground beef.


Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A: An investigator.


Q: Where does a polar bear keep his money?

A: A snow bank.


Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: It was framed!


Q: What did one hat say to the other?

A: Stay here, I’m going on ahead.


Q: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

A: Thunderwear.


Q: What do porcupines say when they kiss?

A: Ouch.


Q: What letters are not in the alphabet?

A: The ones in the mail.


Q: What is a computer’s favorite snack?

A: Computer Chips.