Top 10 Funny And Hilarious Obituaries
Oct 05
The best obituaries give readers a better sense of what kind of a person the deceased was and how they lived their life. Here are more than 10 funny obituaries that reveal how these people lived.
“Going Out With A Bang” Type Of Obituaries
1.McGroarty Achieves Room Temperature
Kevin McGroarty took the time to write an exciting obituary during his last days in 2014. The obituary would later be published in the Pittsburgh Times-Leader with the headline; “McGroarty Achieves Room Temperature”. The obituary mentions the fact that McGroarty did not have any children, but he came up with good names for them if he did have them. It also highlights his crusade to promote “area midget wrestling.” He also left a reminder for his friends: “Please don’t email me, I’m dead.” His headstone would read one of his favorite sayings “I’ll be right back.”
2. He Escaped The Mortal Realm
This obituary of the 69-year old who died on July 2016 started off by saying he escaped the mortal realm on purpose just to avoid making a decision on the upcoming elections. It also states that Zieglar wanted those he owed a beer to know that he would gladly allow them to buy him another if they can find him in heaven. It further mentions, “He can likely be found forwarding tasteless internet jokes.”
3. Marianne Johnson-Reddick: Child Torturer
This obituary mentions that Marianne died alone in August 2013 and was “survived by six of her eight children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible…We celebrate her passing from this earth and hope she lives in the after-life reliving each gesture of violence, cruelty, and shame that she delivered on her children.” It’s perhaps the meanest obituary too.
4. The Cons And Schemes Man
George Ferguson, a minister in Victoria B.C, lived a life complicated than most people, and this was evident in his obituary when he died in July 2014. His obituary read “It is impossible to say whether or not George was actually religious. Anyway, God’s name rarely came up when George was flush “, and “He’d gladly have stolen the shirt off your back”. It went on to give details of other cons and schemes he pulled over when he lived.
5. Getting Things Off His Chest
One man who succumbed to cancer in 2012 decided to write his own obituary to get some things that had troubled him in life off his chest. In the hilarious yet bizarre obituary, he confesses to stealing a safe from a local motel when he was a youth and admitted that the Ph.D. he used to get engineering jobs wasn’t his as it was sent to him through the mail by mistake.
6. The Louche German Aristocrat
Von Bismarck who died in July 2007 was described as a louche German aristocrat with a multifaceted history as:
- A pleasure-seeking heroin addict
- A hell-raising alcoholic
- A flamboyant waster
- A reckless individual
- An extravagant host of homosexual orgies
7. The Partying Hero
Purmort was described in the obituary as a hero in Minneapolis partying life. It further goes on to mention that the deceased left his son, Ralph the duty to grow up and avenge the untimely death of his father.
8. The Wizard Of Oz Lover
The first paragraph of this obituary says: “Ding dong the witch is dead.” It might seem vindictive having been written by one of her daughters, but the reality is Scarpitti made her daughter promise to include a reference to the film “The Wizard of Oz ” when she died because they both shared an abiding love for watching the movie.
9. Wisdom To The Very End
Mary Mullaney passed on in 2013 and decided to pass along some wisdom to the living. She decided to open her obituary with “If you’re about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop” She also admitted going to church with a chicken sandwich in her purse just in case she got hungry. Her family went on to share many of her other household tips.
10. No Respect For The Old Man
The obituary was such a touching tribute from the widow to her deceased husband until the final punchline which is hilarious as it puts Winston’s offspring on blast since they did not respect the old man. The obituary concludes “He leaves to cherish his wife, children, and grandkids, a host of backstabbing motherf*ckers that still owe him money.”
Your Own Funny Obituary
You’ve written your eulogy, you’ve gotten your friends to read it and they’ve all said what they liked about it. Now, how to go about writing a funny obituary? Practice!
Hopefully you haven’t decided that you want a funny obituary too far into your own life. If you’re working on the obituary early enough, you may have a couple of years to write, edit, rewrite, and even scrap everything and start over.
Keep one thing in mind while working on your own humor-laden obituary. To you, humor may come easily, but it’s important to remember one thing – you want to avoid using jokes at every turn. For a funny obituary to ‘work,’ it must be sincere, which is not so easy to establish if every other word is intended to be funny.
On the other hand, also remember that your obituary is meant to be read after you’re six feet under. What am I getting at? Basically, you get the chance to have a dig at people you may not be too fond of, and they’ll never be able to rebut you; make sure you take full advantage of this!
