Christmas Jokes That Are Better Than Cracker Jokes
Christmas Jokes That Are Better Than Cracker Jokes
Dec 05
As the family gathers round the tree or table this Christmas, or at the office, where your boss has made the office party mandatory, the repetition often gets stale. It begins by the retelling of the tales of years gone by…You know the ones. Yep, you’ve heard them every year for the past ten or twenty years. Mr. Jonas kissed Ms. Rogers under the fake mistletoe. Uncle Bobby got his arm broke when he fell off the roof, trying to make Rudolf’s red nose glow; Sammy put too much nog in the egg nog one year and got a bit too “happy”; and so on, and so on. Why not start some new story traditions by brushing up on your humor and telling a few of these doozies to family and friends.
Jokes With The Most…Hopefully Laughs
By telling a few of these, you are sure make someone’s nice list because you spared them from Jenny’s retelling of “Twas the Night Before All Heck Broke Loose”.
- Q: What type of motorcycle does Santa drive?
A: A Holly Davidson
- Q: What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?
A: Its Christmas, Eve!
Santa Baby & Some Knock Knocks
- Use this one in the presence of adults only…it’s rated PG 13.
Santa was in a very bad mood on Christmas Eve. It seemed nothing was going his way. He’d sent an angel out in the morning to get him and Mrs. Claus a Christmas tree and the angel had disappeared. The elves were threatening to strike over their pay. The reindeer had all been drinking eggnog and were tipsy. And, to top it all off the sleigh was still being repaired. He turned to Mrs. Claus and yelled, “I can’t believe it! I’ve got millions of presents to deliver all over the world in one night. The reindeer are drunk, the elves are on strike, and we don’t even have a Christmas tree! I sent that little angel out hours ago. What am I going to do?” Before Mrs. Claus could answer, the door burst open, and the little angel is standing on the snowy porch, dragging a Christmas tree. “Ok, St. Nick, where do you want me to stick this?” And that is how the tradition of angels atop the Christmas tree came to pass.
- Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful.
- Q: What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
A: Jingle Smells!
- Q: What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
A: Mistle-toad!
- How come you never hear anything about the tenth reindeer, Olive’?
You know, ‘Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.
- Q: How many ears has Captain Kirk got?
A: Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
- Q: What do you get if Santa comes down your chimney when there is a fire in the fireplace?
A: Crisp Kringle.
- Q: What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? A: The Christmas alphabet has No L (Noel).
‘Tis The Season To Not Take Yourself So Seriously
Remember not to take everything so seriously this holiday season and share a few laughs with family and friends. “Have Yourself a Jolly Little Christmas”. In closing, here is a Christmas Limerick to start the season with a smile.
At Christmas I contracted the flu,
From taking the kids to the zoo.
The hippos were a wheezing,
Ten monkeys were sneezing.
Now my temperature’s a hundred and two!
